Dueler? Why would we need one at our child’s birth?
As the pregnancy progresses there are many things that you have to get organized for the arrival of your wonderful little creation. Nursery, baby toys, nappies or diapers, crib, clothes, baths etc. The list seems endless at times.
However, one critical thing seems to be almost forgotten and that is a birth plan. It is a great way to get organized for the birth of your little baby and start visualizing a healthy successful birth. It can be as long or short as you want, but it is a great way to discuss and organize how you want the birthing experience to happen.
Well one day I came in from working in the garage when my wife mentioned that we should start getting our birth plan organized. Since we were about 5 months out from the actual birth it caught me as a surprise and off guard. OK I said we want a water birth right? Yes she responded. So let’s find a hospital that does those and we will go there. Simply handled I thought.
Well what about a “dueler?” my wife stated, she announced that she really wanted one present at the birth.
A “dueler?” What a guy who heads out at dawn with a piston to settle a score at 10 paces?
Why would we need a “dueler?”
My wife then explained that a “DOULA” was a part mid wife, part cheer leader, part super woman that would help if there were any problems with the birth of our child.
It was also followed by the statement that Doula’s are not covered by insurance and it would cost a “BIT” extra!
Well I am part frugal, and part country boy from the farm. I have understood the reproductive and birthing experience since a young boy one day asking my father about what that bull was doing to that cow,
and then approximately 9 months later a baby calf popped out the back of the cow. So I blurted out that we didn’t need a “Doula” at the birth since my wife would have me there and I have been present for many births of cows,
horses, sheep and I have even seen chickens hatching from their eggs. I have helped deliver breeched calves being delivered so I had a decent idea of the process.
Well this did little to sooth my wife’s anxiety and instill confidence in her about the fact that I could handle the birth process. In fact it may have had an opposite effect. As she shouted “did you just imply that I am a heifer?”
No I said heifers are usually young cows that haven’t had sex with the bull, she was more like a cow - MOO. This was the WRONG answer!
Well after a heated discussion I agreed to be open to the idea of having a “Doula” present for the birth.
As it happened the birthing center we ended up choosing had the girl who did our “Hypnobirthing” classes training to become certified as a midwife and thus she was present at the birth of our little bean in a doula like capacity.
The only waking up at dawn was to drive my wife to the birthing center!
The moral to the story is to have a “birth plan” in place before you go into labor. Start working on it early and you can continually revise it up till the birth day. Make sure that you include contingencies for any problems that you think may arise. It is always better to be over prepared than under prepared, so you can ensure having a birthing experience as close to what you are aiming for and welcome you brand new baby into the world as you desire.
You can read about the pregnancy from my wife's perspective on her blog Diary of a Pregnant Comedian. This blog is my perspective of the pregnancy and fatherhood experience.